Brian

01:22 am: Hello?
Hmmm...I don't know what I'm doing, or where this will post.
Damn third-party posting plug-ins that I don't remember setting up.

11:22 pm: Hi
If anyone actually still stumbles across all this...lemme know.
I'm considering starting up again.

I'm also considering writing a screenplay and/or novel...

Or I might just starting bloggin on myspace...but I hate myspace.

08:20 am: First School Entry
So I can't blog on myspace, so I'll just blog here.

What's up everybody?! Back at school now. And here's what I have to say: I love my room! Scott and I turned a small room with an oddly placed door into the kickin'est room around. Seriously, who fits two couches, a coffee table, the furniture they give you, two fridges (including a huge one with a freezer), and my kickin' entertainment center into one room?!?!

So my entertainment system rocks. Here's why: 27" LCD tv. 'nuff said. Xbox 360 for gaming and DVD viewing in Hi Def. Kick ass. And to put it over the top: I bought a 7.1 surround sound system for the room for $500 (on sale). So....put all that together, and you got a movie night that kicks ass! Seriously, my surround sound system, fan-friggin-tastic. I love it! Which is odd, b/c it's soooo expensive you'd think I'd be having buyers remorse or something. I am not! I had more buyer's remorse for the Xbox 360 which I'm absolutely in love with. So, my room kicks ass. and everyone thinks so.

So tonight we are having a movie night; it was decided Wednesdays at 9pm would be our movie night. And of course, the movie will be in my room because I have the HDTV, and the 360 which plays in hi def, and the amazingly overdone surround sound system. We are still having troubles on which movie we want to see. It was originally Green Street Hooligans, but Best Buy was out of it when I was up there buying cables for my receiver. And I'm not paying to rent it a third time. So, Kevin might bring V for Vendetta (which would be really showcase my surround sound system) or Sin City or other movies of his choice. I can't figure out why he's coming to movie night, though, seeing as his class was cancelled for tonight, and he has about a 45 minute drive to get here and then drive back. O well. He's a trooper.

Also, my ol' roommate (Gabe) who went to Spain last semester may be stopping by. So that's pretty awesome! I love that kid. He was my first good/fun roommate (finally I got a decent one my junior year), and I can't believe how much I missed him when I got that stupid Laotian roommate. So, it'll be good to chill with him, along with all my other friends. Plus, Gabe will be bringing a friend (of the female persuasion) so that always gets my hopes up. Maybe she'll be smoking and totally into for my money (once you see my room, you think I got money, I'm that good and spending my money)....and the rest will be history. We can only hope.

So, I can't wait to christen my room. Of course, that'll have to be on a weekend when Scott is visiting Sarah.
(am I joking, who knows anymore)

09:21 pm: A Quick Update.
So, no much has been happening. Just working, chillin', playing Xbox 360. That's pretty much it.

Work is going much, much, much better. I've decided to stay on once school starts. I'll be working Tuesday and Thursday mornings, and some Saturdays (if I need to/have to...if they take advantage of that, I will demand Saturdays off; and if that doesn't work, I will quit). Why the change of heart you may be asking...well, they are giving me my own office, with a really nice big desk (it's used, but o well), and the new lab has A/C, my office has a window, the office/lab will have wireless internet. All this and no pay raise, but I'll let that slide.

In other news, they also offered me a job after graduation. As VP of Technology no less. So I'd be making big money. Unfortunately, I'm dead set, and have my heart set, on going to Grad School to get my Ph.D. But, I'm not turning down the job until I'm accepted into grad school and everything else is in place.

School doesn't look much fun, but I can't wait to go back. I want to be living where I don't have to worry about what other people think about what I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I love it at the Delia's; but I want to be able to come and go as I please (which I am allowed to do here, but I'm too considerate and responsible to do such a thing) and do what I want, and not worry about being scrutinized. So I'm looking forward to the dorm living, but no so much the school work that will be associated with my classes and goals this semester. What do I mean by goals you may be asking:

take GRE, take subject GRE (in chemistry), apply to 6 grad schools (those three costing me upwards of $800 when all is said and done). And that is a lot of goals, considering I hear applying to grad schools sucks balls...not to mention going to grad school sucks balls. But I've decided it's what I want. I think...

Other than that, not much going on. This weekend, I suckered myself into helping some friends move, and then Sunday we are supposed to go Six Flags, but I need to talk to Kevin again. The weekend after that, I offered myself up to help Scott's little brother move into college with Scott's parents and hopefully Scott. [I don't know if Scott's brother's name is spelled Stephen or Steven, so I just stay away from typing it]. Then it's moving back to Elmhurst. So the rest of my summer is pretty much set.

PS my brother may be visiting me on Labor Day weekend. He'll be disappointed. Considering he drinks/smokes 24/7 and thinks everything is a party...well it's not. There's so much more to do than that if he ends up visiting me.

07:01 pm: Pics!
Here's some pictures from the other weekend when I went home!


My Brother

My Puppy

St. Louis, my second favorite skyline

This pretty much sums up that whole weekend

Chicago, my favorite skyline
from the metra

09:57 pm: How My Summer is Going
So...you guys might think I've forgotten about the world of Livejournal b/c I never update anymore. That is not the case. I actually write an entry a night in my LJ Client (yes, I have a client, from back when I was hardcore into Livejournal), but I end up deleting the entry. I don't see much point in posting some of the things I want to post. I never use names and people usually don't know who/what I'm talking about. Even though I'm screaming to try to let out what it is I want to say.

I really dislike my life right now. There's not much in it to be happy about. And yet so many things to be grateful for. I just don't know what I'm going to do about this fall. It's not looking good as far as the job and money situations go.

it's hot. I'm going to bed. I'll try to update more if anyone actually reads this.

08:58 am: Fuck It
Once again, life is so fucked up. I'm back to wishing that I'd die in my sleep; and that's something I haven't wished in a long time. I thought I was doing well. I thought for once in my life I was back to being happy (no matter how completely alone I am). But shit keeps happening. I keep getting kicked when I'm down. Why the fuck won't God give me a break? You want to know why? Cuz God doesn't fucking exist! And if he does, He's not the type of God people think he is. I feel like I've wasted my last 21 years believing in something completely and utterly pointless. I'm a good person, but for some reason, He hates me and won't let me have happy life.

So yesterday, some punk ass kid rode his bike out in front of me as I was making a right-hand turn from a red light. I was watching traffic from the left and inching forward. The crosswalk was under my car, near the back. This kid came flying from the sidewalk, swerved nearly out into the intersection to get in front of me (remember, I was already in the crosswalk). Since I was still looking left watching the cars and there was a break in the cars, I let off the brake and then boom, the kid runs into my front passenger side of my bumper. and ended up falling to right in front of my car. Thank god for him I have quick reflexes and was back on the brake. So, all he had was a little scratch on his shoulder. I helped him get up and asked if he was okay. and he said yeah and started walking away. I gave him my phone number (I have never been in any sort of accident ever, so I didn't know what to do) and realized his bike was messed up (the front rim was bent) so I offered him a ride home. He said, "No, I"m fine. I just live right down the road." So I said okay and he just walked away. So I went home and called the Police in Elmhurst then because I realized I'm fucked because the kid was a minor and it wasn't going to be okay once he told his parents. (If it had been an adult, and he said he was okay and walked away, I'd be okay...but no so with minors). So anyways, I was fucked because I was in shock and didn't think to ask the kid's name. Well, while I was on the phone with the police the kid's mom called in all hysterical and wanted to make to make a report and all this other shit. She had to take her son to the doctor cuz O MY GOD HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT AND GOT A SCRATCH ON HIS SHOULDER! So anyways, the police gave me her number and I called her, and I wanted to make out a police report to protect myself, too. So we went down to the police station and he showed the cop the bike, showed him all the stuff that was wrong (the front rim). Anyways, I told the cop my side of the story, and apparently he was surprised cuz the kid's mother told him that I backed into her son!! Um no! He ran right in front of me and HE HIT MY CAR!! I just happened to get in his way. So anyways, the kid told the cop that he didn't even stop at the intersection (with Chicagoland traffic at a busy intersection...what the fuck is your problem kid?!?!) So the cop told me that I really should have looked right before letting off my brake (come on, who does that, you let off the brake and roll forward while turning to look right, and then hit the gas! I wasn't even on the gas!!) But anyways, the kid was wearing a fucking ipod, not paying any attention to the whole fucking world. What an idiot. The mother wants me to pay for the bike. After she left, the cop told me if I don't feel comfortable with that, then I don't really have to pay because the kid and I were both at fault. So last night she calls me, and said she got an estimate on the bike and it's going to be 75 fucking dollars for a new bicycle wheel. (just the rim, the tube and tire were fine). And then she also states that she wants me to pay for her co-pay with her insurance for the fucking doctor visit. Which is going to be about another $45. This is all money I can't afford, because remember my stupid summer job isn't working out. So now I'm stressed and pissed and upset, and I'm pretty sure over the course of one day I got upset enough to make my fucking ulcer come back, so I didn't eat hardly at all yesterday. And I'm not sure I'm going to be able to eat today b/c I'm still completely sick to my stomach and it hurts. So what a great fucking day I had. (I guess you can tell by all the fucks and fuckings...seeing as I haven't swore all summer b/c I'm living at the Delia's...I now only swear when I am really really angry).

I pretty much want to crawl into a hole and die b/c my life fucking sucks.

11:27 pm: The New Life
So what can I say? Being 21 is pretty sweet. I love going out to restaurants and ordering drinks with dinner. I'm gonna love being able to go out when my friends go out. So far, it's been good. 2 nights of being 21, 2 nights of getting alcohol at where-ever we went.

Other than that, I'm not enjoying work so much. In fact, I absolutely hate it. The only time I pretend to enjoy it is when I neglect my duties and play computer games or read a book. I know that sounds bad, but it's not. There's a lot of downtime in between me doing stuff. I can't really multitask yet because I'm not comfortable with the stuff I'm doing yet. We'll see. I've decided just to look at this as a summer job because I really don't think I'm going to enjoy it. Not to mention I'm working in the back corner of a warehouse that stores styrofoam storage trays and only employs Mexicans. Also not to mention that I work entirely alone. My boss is there for like 10 minutes in the morning before he leaves to go to the office. Sooooo...I'm entirely alone the majority of the time and I have yet to actually be shown or properly told how to do anything. So that's work.

Living at the Delia's is sweet. Being 21 is sweet. Work, not so sweet. O well. Talk to you guys later, leave a comment maybe I'll post more.

08:47 am: Sorry.
So I'm not coming home this weekend. The Delia's want me to stay up here and get settled in. Which makes perfect sense. Screw my physics professor who is an ass and screwing me over.

So this was mainly for CB, to let her know that I won't be seeing her this weekend. :( School sucks.

08:08 pm: My Mommy...
Love Always and Miss Forever
My mom, Carol Woodrum.
May 4th, 1955 - Janurary 4th, 1994

12:42 am: I'm at this point where I just have to write. This may be a book. It may be a line. Probably the latter because I am tired.

In fact, not even a line. I can't write anything.
I get so depressed when the lights go out.
without you.

I don't like girls... I like the idea of girls in my past. I miss those girls. I miss those chances.

02:44 pm: Hallo Meinen Fruenden!
Greetings from the city of Elmhurst and Elmhurst College.
It is I, Brian, long lost friend to many, lover to others, and now just a nobody.

I have bad news for all those from the Bistate area of Illinois and Missouri around St. Louis. I will NOT be returning home for the summer. I know I know, it's a little upsetting, but let it set in.

I got a really good job up here in the "North" for the summer. I'll be working at a company that develops and researches particles to put in fire resistant barriers. With this job, I'll be working 40 hours/week and making $15/hr. Yes, I know, that's a dream come true for a poor college student like myself.

So there you have it. I'm not going back to the Saint Louis area for quite sometime. My only prospects were the weekend after my birthday (June 16, 17, and 18) and July 4th timel; but I don't think either of those will work out too good, because I rather be up here to spend my birthday with my friends up here (who are uber excited to celebrate my birthday...since my birthday is in the summer, I've never had a birthday that was special or fun or ever really had a birthday for that matter, so I'm excited too). We'll probably go downtown for some fun. And my friend Krystal's Wedding is July 8th, and since I got the biggest car, me and a bunch of people from up here are probably going to drive it down to the wedding. So that rules July 4th weekend out.

So there's an update on the super boring life of Brian. I believe this is my final goodbye to the St. Louis area. I don't think I ever loved it anyways.

11:57 pm: Like
It gets so bad sometimes, it hurts to breath.

Something happened tonight; and for a split second, I felt like my whole life had been torn in two. I don't think I've ever felt the way I felt when this happened. Thank goodness it turned out not to be real.

I'm still the same idiot guy I've always been, superficially insecure and afraid of everything.

10:20 pm: Life.
If you knew what I felt inside of me right now, I think you'd be surprised.
There are so many different things I feel right now, for so many reasons, I can't believe yet; let alone those of you who thought I was dead and cold inside.

How can the thought of something make me so happy and yet so afraid at the same time.

Once again, ladies and gentleman, I am an idiot, for more reasons than one.

10:39 pm: Shady's Back
Not by popular demand, but because I love someone very dearly who reads this, and I hope she still will, cuz sometimes, it's the only way I can keep up with her life and she with mine.

So yes, this one is for you CB.

01:30 pm: Last Entry.
This is my last LJ entry. I'm deleting this account, along with my xanga. There is just no point. I've finally grown out of it.

that is all.

12:05 am: bored.
THE LAST PERSON WHO:
1. Slept in your bed besides you: no one
2. Saw you cry: i don't cry
3. Made you cry: she didn't make me cry, it wasn't her fault
4. Went to the movies with you: I saw "The Ringer" with Heather P.
5. You went to the mall with: Jenna. St. Louis Galleria
7. You went to dinner with: Kevin and Rich during Bears' Halftime.
8. You talked on the phone: my grandmother
9. Said 'I love you' to you and really meant it: no one in that way
10. Broke your heart: no one...i'm heartless
11. Made you laugh: Kevin the Drunk (or Dane Cook)

W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R
1. pierce your nose or tongue? tongue
2. be serious or be funny? funny
3. drink whole or skim milk? 2%
4. die in a fire or drown? neither.
5. spend time with your parents or go spend time with your enemies: my parent is my enemy.

A R E Y O U
1. simple or complicated? very complicated
2. Gay? only sometimes. sometimes I'm happy.
3. Hardcore? totally. I wear a hat that says "heartbreaker"...that's way hardcore.

DO YOU PREFER
1. flowers or candy? I hate sweets.
2. gray or black? black
3. Color or Black and white photos? black and white with the focus of the picture being vibrant color
4. lust or love? lust. love isn't real.
5. sunrise or sunset? either or.
6. M&Ms or Skittles? skittles...i don't like chocolate
7. rap or rock? punk rock
8. staying up late or waking up early? i like waking up early, you feel like you get so much more done...only, I'm not good at waking up early.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
1. do you like anyone? yes
2. do they know it? no

DO YOU PREFER
2. sun or moon? sun, i like warmth
3. Winter or Fall? fall...it's the season of dieing.
4. left or right? right
5. having 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? neither, I'm a loner and a one best friend kinda guy
6. sun or rain? rain if it's not cold
7. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? cake batter
8. Boys or girls? girls.
9. vodka or Jack? depends on the occassion, yes...i'm an alcohol snob

ABOUT YOU
What time is it? 11:50pm
Name? Brian
Nickname(s): Bri, Wood, Woody, BriBri
Where were you born? Mascoutah
What is your birthdate? June 15th, 1985

WHAT DO YOU WANT
Where do you want to live? New York, or a big city in California...but really I want to live somewhere in Europe
How many kids do you want? 2 or 3
What would you want to name a girl? I dunno
What would you want to name a boy? Brayden Maximilian Woodrum (BMW)
Do you want to get married? sooner than later.

UNIQUE
1. Nervous Habits? not looking at anyone.
2. Are you double jointed? no.
3. Can you roll your tongue? i think so.
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? no.
5. Can you cross your eyes? can't everyone?
6. Do you make your bed daily? absolutely. it's a pet peeve of mine.

1. Which shoe goes on first? left
2. ever thrown one at someone? no...i throw heavier things that hurt more.
3. On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet/purse? isn't that what credit cards are for?
4. What jewelry do you wear? none...sometimes a rubberband on my wrist.

1. Do you twirl your spaghetti: yes, or cut it.
2. Have you ever eaten Spam: yeah, it's good stuff...not
3. favorite ice cream: birthday cake remix from Coldstone
4. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? I don't have a cabinet, nor cereal
5. What's your favorite beverage? Mt. Dew.
6. What's your favorite restaurant: Tony's.
7. Do you cook? very well.

LET'S BE HONEST
In the last month have you...
1. Had a bf/gf: no
2. Bought something: lots of things
4. Sang: yeah....while drunk the other night
5. Been kissed: last month....HAHAHAHA, it's almost been a year since my last kiss.
6. Had sex: ........
7. Felt stupid: always
8. Missed someone: a little bit
9. Got drunk: of course
10. Gotten high:no.
11. Danced crazy: yes, kevin made fun of me
12. Gotten your hair cut? yes, while at home for christmas, it needs it again.
13. Cried: i don't think so
14. Lied: who doesn't? just for fun though
15.Snuck out of the house: um...why sneak? I live alone.

05:00 pm: So, I want to say something, but no one is here to listen.
I was reading through my other blog...the one I say real stuff in...because certain people can't read it...
well, it's all emo. It's stupid. Why do I let someone get to me like that.
People aren't worth it. especially this one.
things you learn.

01:56 am: FUCK.
Well, I have a gambling problem.
It wouldn't be so bad if I could learn to back down. But that's not my style.
So now I'm broke. Again.

11:49 pm: hmmm....

You scored as Chemistry. You should be a Chemistry major! As if that isnt clear enough, you are deeply passionate about Chemistry, and every single chemical reaction and concept fascinates you. Pursue that! </td> Art 83% Linguistics 83% Chemistry 83% Biology 75% Engineering 75% Journalism 75% English 67% Philosophy 67% Psychology 67% Theater 67% Anthropology 58% Mathematics 50% Sociology 42% Dance 17% What is your Perfect Major? created with QuizFarm.com

Truth is, I do like art more than what I'm currently doing. But where would that get me? So Chemistry and Biology to become a doctor it is.